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So I am a very verile, nice looking, fit guy with a lot of sexual energy... and I have to tell you girls what it does to someone like me when I see one of you cute ones prancing around in these tight yoga pants... There is something about the ability to view your feminine contours, without the vulgarity of pure nudity or suggestiveness, that just freaking sets off the erotic alarm in my head (and other regions). I am curious if anyone out there would be interested in being admired by me... maybe we can meet somewhere and you just show off for me... wear your tight pants, let me see you, dont mind me following you around a little bit bit ogling your sexy body, and maybe later I would you what I thought... another thought I have is to just let me brush up against you with my hands... maybe we pass each other in an aisle of a store or something, and you just let me brush my hand up against your nice body in those tight pants... sort of an , touching, so light that I could just claim it was an accident, but you would know better... have you ever wondered what it might feel like to have a nice, attractive, rugged, sexy guy anonymously touch you like that... would it sort of set you off? would you think about it later? fantasize about what he might have done to you? Please, please, one of you cute, bored little milfy types out there who just wants some harmless fun contact me? please be real...
A mathematical theorem to determine if you should respond to this ad.
I devised the following theorem/combination of theorems to help you in determining whether or not to respond to this ad. Behold!
Let any given woman reading this ad be denoted by the variable 'x'.
We have the following functions available for use:
Function 'r': removes zealots, as their inclusion in the final results would result in a breakdown of the model.
Function 'c': removes anyone that is considered by society as "that crazy axe murderer that got off on a technicality." Function 'c' needs fine tuning, but is of sufficient quality as to be used in the model.
Function 'p': removes those that are averse to politiy incorrect jokes and/or dark humour.
Function 'd': filters out women that don't have at least some modicum of intelligence. Also, in the newest revision, this filters beautiful lady seeking casual sex dating Bear out those that routinely replace "you" with "u", etc., unless it is some kind of mockery.
The functions should be applied to 'x' together and in order as follows: x = r(x) x = c(x) x = p(x) x = d(x)
If the final value of 'x' is equal to or close to the original value of 'x', you should send a message to the poster of theorem, because we might have crazy fun together. Or not. Alternatively, if you find a flaw in this model, please send corrections as well. I'm particularly interested if you have a method of improving the function to filter out crazies.
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