Sweet housewives want friendship

visiting soon, have no friends anymore I'm originally from Massachusetts, now I live in California. I'm planning to surprise my father and family for Father's Day, and am going to spend about a week back home. Problem is, all the people I'm still friendly with from high school/college have moved away. The people who stayed are those I've grown apart from, and the last few times I've visited I really have only had my family to hang out with. Which is great right up until 7:30-8PM when my parents get tired nowadays, and my brother is putting his three children to sleep before him and his wife go to bed too. Which leaves me alone in my parent's guest room, watching netflix on my laptop because they don't have an interconnected tv (or even wireless, gah!). This is supposed to be a vacation gosh darnit, not the usual routine... Forget you read that last part.
Anyway, I was hoping to make a week long friend. Someone I can go out with maybe 2-4 nights, depending on what the family decides to do with me here. Movie, bar, dinner, whatever. I'm not expecting much, just some good company, conversation. I'm posting in the w4m section cause... I guess I'd feel weird meeting a man off the internet, which is my way of saying that I don't expect anything to happen. And to be honest, in my california element and with my woman savvy, it usually takes me 6-8 weeks to bag a chick. Put me in a foreign land, with limited time, while crashing with my parents and borrowing their car? I don't think I could be less smooth.
I'm 28/m, brown hair, green eyes, 6'2, chubby but I think I wear it well. I still have a wicked bad accent too. You? Doesn't really matter to me, as long as you're not like 18 or 50 years of age. Just someone I won't feel awkwardly out of place with, who has a sense of humor (preferably dark and/or goofy), and feels like making a friend who lives in California. I'm into movies, entertainment, politics, etc. Not that you necessarily have to be. I think having stuff in common is overrated, how else are you supposed to expand yourself and views? But I'm not opposed to hanging out with a like-minded. Just as long as we click and don't feel weird around each other.
If you think this sounds like an experiment you feel like trying with me (who the hell knows if it will work), feel free to email me. We can talk through here a bit and see if us talking is copacetic. I wouldn't be opposed to a picture, just so I know what crazy person I might killed by after I agreed to meet them over the internet... The one thing I promised my mom I'd never do.