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broken hearted holidays So of course i had to have a dream that related to you right before i woke up today now I'm terribly depressed not to mention things suck with the family as usual You would've made this nice you always got all excited for the holidays The only days you'd get up early :/ These bittersweet memories are all i have now I have some pictures but it obviously doesn't compare to the real thing I wonder where you are and what you're doing today Despite everything i hope you're not alone (not in a "i hope you're with another girl" way cause the thought of that even now makes me sick to my ) I miss you terribly I shouldn't but i do Every day Every day Every day So anyway Ill spend another Christmas Wishing that things had been different Wishing that deceitful secretive betraying pathologiy lying sociopathic side to you didn't exist And pretending that the side that was so loving thoughtful my very very best friend my world my soul mate was real...even though i know better Even though i know now i was just a pawn Best. Acting. Job. Ever. I bought it whole heartedly It was so unbelievable to me But i thought I'd found the truest of love We had a family A life A love (or at least i did) Having that dream turn to my darkest nightmare and so suddenly had left me in a state that is just unwell Sadness sadness Pain Tears Lonliness for you specifiy not just in general